This I had to publish................
Dear sir,
Herewith please find a formal requisition of your services. Said services are to be understood to include, but not be limited to, technical advice, carpentry & metalwork skills, general knowledge, etc.
The requestor of such services has found himself to be in a position whereby he is lacking the necessary and particular skills to perform a specified task. The aforementioned task has recently come to light after the acquisition of specific electronic merchandise, which, for the purposes and intent of this requisition, shall be referred to as Audio Visual Equipment, hereafter AVE. Said AVE is normally, but not in all cases, installed in the three dimensional space below a television
viewing screen, usually and/or often inside a cabinet or furniture unit of some varied pecification. However, in the supplied documentation of said AVE, there are specific warnings about the operating temperature of said device, and upon manual investigation, these recommendations have been confirmed to be accurate. Said AVE generates a lot of exothermic radiation, otherwise or commonly known as 'heat', and the aforementioned unit of furniture intended to house said AVE doesn't seem to display properties of adequate exothermic radiation dispersal.
With this preamble now performed, herewith the request: The requestor solicits your services to manufacture, construct or erect a mechanism that attaches to the current audio visual equipment unit of furniture - for the purpose of the newly acquired AVE to reside upon.
In common parlance this might be referred to as a 'bracket & shelf on the side', if you wish.
The requestor would appreciate a timely response to your availability,
or not as the case may be.
Sincerely,
LW Cowle
All he wants is help with a small bloody shelve on the side of his TV cabinet....................